Hey Everyone, Copper D.W. here. I have a story for you, and it is intended for all those people who are struggling with who they are. Before I start the story I’d like to have a special shout out to all the people struggling with mental illness, be it depression, anxiety, or anything like that, I know what it’s like and it sucks like hell. This work is also intended for people who just feel out of place, so here we go:
I once told one of my friends that I was a hurricane in a raindrop. You’d think that would be a conversation starter. You’d Think. It wasn’t. With a dismissive smile and a nod of the head, that conversation both begun and simultaneously died in less than a second. Ok I thought to myself, New topic, and then we started to talk about what she wanted to talk about, and well we talked small talk. Going through the day I tried to ignore the feeling, the feeling of perpetual likeness in everyday talk, in society. My head started racing thinking about life and the fate of mankind. I eventually had to stop myself because, I was overly prone to overthinking so I sat outside, just to get a breather. I took out a pen and paper and started to write:
I am glad we were able to talk about whatever you wanted to talk about it, but I had this entire speech ready and rehearsed about the topic you so readily dismissed, so here I am, and here is what I wanted to say:
I am a hurricane in a raindrop. Why you may ask? Because I have problems, big internal problems with my life and well, to be honest, you in my life at times. I’m not going to say anything rude I just would like you to hear me out. I struggle with problems that are not even under my control. I struggle with problems within my control. I struggle with problems that I just seem to have made up in my mind. Now please don’t laugh. I am an over thinker, it’s a curse that has plagued my mind since a young age. I’m not just a worrier but I have an extreme anxiety of problems. Just problems in general.
I am a hurricane inside a raindrop.
I have so much to say, but for some reason, I can’t find the words to say it. I have so much I want to tell you, to talk about and yet my mind and my mouth only seem mildly connected. I have so much plaguing me, it’s as if I have the world on my back and I can’t seem to take off any weight. I am plagued by the world. I am plagued by the worry of the people, about these ideas and concepts that may be far from reality to you, but is on the same playing field in my mind. I’m sorry if you don’t understand, but you don’t have to compare everything I say to your life. I hope that you never have to experience anything that I have gone, and am going through.
I am a paradox, and I’ve come to accept that. I am a deep thinker and I’ve come to learn from that. I am a person riddled with doubt and fear. I am hurricane inside a raindrop… and I’m too afraid to show you my true colours.
Sincerely, Your Friend.