Just Do What You Gotta Do

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Hey Everyone, Copper D.W. here!

Today is a very special day for me because it is my birthday and it I have my graduation ceremony today! As pumped as I already am, I have recognized that today is composed of not only celebration but of reflection and the one thing that comes to mind is Acceptance, so in reflection of my 4 years in my program and my birthday, that’s what I’ll be talking about in this post.

Acceptance. It’s such a human trait. Being such social creatures (i.e. humans) it is no wonder that others approval and the need and desire to be accepted is near the top on the priority list. I have read a lot of essays and documents on how everyone needs love in their life and how that is something that is always on everyone’s mind, but what people cease to talk about is acceptance.

I am from a very caring and compassionate family, and they have always supported me in whatever endeavours I choose to follow (it also helps that my family and I have the same calls of judgement and morals) but whenever they disagree with what I say, I’m immediately taken aback, questioning “Do I need to change or stop the way I’m thinking or doing to make them accept me more?” I suppose love could be tied into this, but furthermore, it is interesting to note that though I have always been taught to march and the beat of my own drums when it comes to family it becomes much more personal and dire to change your perspectives in order to make them happy.

Friends, having almost identical effects can also have you question what you’re doing with your life and your life choices. I have very few close friends because of this, and I am very selective due to this reason. Either way, acceptance is really what keeps us going in a social setting. You generally hang out with people who accept you (or at least accept the way you have been portraying yourself around them) vs friends that make you feel like poop. But it can be difficult with your family because in most cases it is very difficult to draw lines between them and your life choices.

My Advice: Just do what you gotta do.

I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what decision you make someone will be unhappy. Whether it’s choosing a baby name, picking a sport, going into a job field, someone will always tell you why it won’t work, or say there are better options, (and it’s most likely involving money in some kind of way). My advice to you is that sometimes you need to do what’s right for you, even when it’s an inconvenience to everyone else, because at the end of the day it’s you, you have to live with, it’s your life, it’s your choices, and as my friends and family have heard me say “No Regrets.”

Of course, you need to weigh the choices you make appropriately, and not just go on a whim and of course whatever you do you will always have some kind of regret, but again you need to weigh the situation to make sure there is as little regret as an outcome as possible. Make an ‘educated guess’ as I like to say, but I admit that sometimes you need to make decisions that just ‘feel right’ no matter if you have any evidence or not. Judging by feeling and not emotion is key in this situation but nonetheless is essential, for like I said No regrets, and that is something a lot of people say when they don’t follow their hunches.

Be true to who you are, don’t let anyone compromise your opinions or values and most importantly ‘just do what you gotta do’, no regrets.

 

Yours truly,

Copper D.W.

 

The Spectrum; Using a Tired Pigeon Analogy (ish)

Hey Everyone, Copper D.W. here,

I once read a funny quote which is anonymous (please correct me if I am wrong) and it is written below. It says “I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted Pigeon.” -Anonymous. I found this hilarious because on one hand, I think it is personally very funny, it’s very true and to be honest, I was really tired when I read it. (It’s like when you’re tired and you think everything is funny).

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Either way, I’m posting this today because I wanted to give a special shout out to my fellow exhausted pigeons, because if you’re anything like me or even similar, you could go to bed at 4am and wake up at 6am, or go to bed a 9 and wake up at 1pm, and you’re just always, always Tired! Ah, the inevitable fatigue.

What I’m trying to get at is that I want people to know that it’s okay they don’t fit into the ‘Morning Person’ or ‘Night Owl’ category. Thinking in terms of categories, sometimes (actually quite often) people don’t fit into the two laid out categories that they are expected to follow. What people cease to understand is that there is never a clear black or white and that there is always that grey area in-between, because in reality everything, every decision that you make, every thought, choice and so forth is all on a spectrum.

You see in the society we live in we are expected to be either one way or another. I remember when I was little I would always get into arguments with my friends because they always assumed that because I didn’t necessarily agree with what they said it meant I was against them. “Are you against us, or with us?” I remember one of my childhood friends say, and this is when I learned that even though I agreed with both parties, I had to pick a side.

I personally think that, like I said everything is really a spectrum because you can agree with some elements of some argument, and disagree with others, and you aren’t really against or for what they’re advocating. We have created a society in which we cannot be as open minded as many advocate because if you can’t decide on what you agree or disagree with wholeheartedly you are being indecisive but if you do have strong opinions your pig-headed.

Still overall, I do realize that decisions need to be made, and in most cases it’s either yes or no for we have to live our lives, but the conception of against or for, being either a morning bird or a night owl, is not quite as evident as many political leaders would like you to believe.

The ideals of one person is not necessarily the ideal of your own, but you need to decide, and weigh what has more importance to you, and weigh the spectrum, for there is never a concrete yes or no, in reality, you can really only rely on the maybe.

And remember in the system we have today, the assumption of yes and no, you don’t have to shove yourself in a category if you feel you don’t fit in. Worse comes to worse create your own category, and just keep an open mind and be accepting. That’s all you can really ask for, and I’m positive that over time you will have some lovely tired pigeons that all understand each other!

Let the Tired Pigeons unite, and let the people understand that the spectrum is my own personal opinion, and you are free to believe in whatever you desire.

Awesome Sox,

Copper D.W.

Getting Letters… from the Right People

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Hey Everyone, Copper D.W. here!

This past week has been pretty huge for me, I am graduating from school and I just had my last full day. It’s pretty insane to think four years of your life and POOF, they’re gone!

Either way as a final goodbye, the graduating class in our department went out for a banquet and we got letters from our other class members, and it was pretty great. I danced for the first time, since forever and I was having a blast. The thing is, is that the night it didn’t start out that way. Still, I was lucky enough to take a lesson from the experience.

So we started off with a regular banquet. We are food, listened to some loud music and then we started hearing speeches and our letters from our fellow peers, with the first round of gifts from the students a year younger than us.

Well, I was all excited, it’s always nice to have nice things said about yourself. I don’t mean to sound conceded but it is true that a compliment makes your day. So I was pretty pumped. The only thing is that once I got my letter and gift and it was a very, short and sweet message. Somewhat generic, nothing really personal, but I thought it was nice, a spelling error in the 30 words, but I still thought it was sweet. That was until I saw what my friends got… It was like a 1 1/2 of a page, full of personal comments and recognition of what they had done for them and the program.

I always try to advocate positivity and to not compare, yet there are always those situations that hit you at the moment, and this was one of those moments. To be honest I felt pretty upset, more so out of self-pity, but still, it happened nonetheless.

This was the down of the party. I wanted to leave. I started to overthink (something plagued by a lot of people) and I just wanted to go home. I debated leaving but decided to stay a bit longer. I then got my letters from my classmates. A good handful and that made me feel better, to only starting to read my first message, it was so sweet, until I realized that this letter was not addressed to me and that I was given to me by accident.

Oops, I guess.

Either way, I kept reading the messages, and though some were sweet, most of them were very generic. I kept reading through them, and progressively, they got better and better. I then reached a message with no name of who it belonged to and I almost started to cry. (I later found out who wrote it, it was a nice hug.)

Still, as the night went on, I felt like I was really just getting, not much out of the dinner and the dance started and again I contemplated going home. I am not a party/dancy person and I was sitting at my table alone, looking through my letters. It was not until one of my good friends, who was a year younger than I was decided to write each other letters personally, and she wrote me a beautiful and wonderful letter. I was overwhelmed with love and compassion and that’s when something clicked.

That night I learned that, yes I may not be the most popular. Yes, I am not the most academically inclined. I am not, the best in my art. I am not loved by everyone, but that the few people that do love me, they really do love me.

Being a kind of person who sometimes is a bit of a weirdo, I normally get very strange looks from my classmates and I got to use to it because my dear friends treasured my inner soul. I find it almost as an amazing epiphany the other day because, I realized that yes, I have a small group of friends, and I’m not known by everyone, but it is these people you need to treasure.

I learned that yes, letters are wonderful, compliments are great, but if they’re not given to you by people you care about, they aren’t worth much.

I learned that you may not be loved by everyone but you are treasured by the few weird birds that you have come to call your friends. (And yes, real people, not the actual pigeon, but I have many pigeon friends as well :P)

So in conclusion, don’t go looking for approval from a group of people that don’t know you, because they might like you which is great, but if they don’t, then that’s a real confidence buster. But if you just talk to your friends, people you care about, their love and compassion, even if it’s less in numbers, is more powerful than a million’s strangers telling you you’re beautiful.

Sincerely,

Copper D.W.