Hey Everyone, Copper D.W. here!
This past week has been pretty huge for me, I am graduating from school and I just had my last full day. It’s pretty insane to think four years of your life and POOF, they’re gone!
Either way as a final goodbye, the graduating class in our department went out for a banquet and we got letters from our other class members, and it was pretty great. I danced for the first time, since forever and I was having a blast. The thing is, is that the night it didn’t start out that way. Still, I was lucky enough to take a lesson from the experience.
So we started off with a regular banquet. We are food, listened to some loud music and then we started hearing speeches and our letters from our fellow peers, with the first round of gifts from the students a year younger than us.
Well, I was all excited, it’s always nice to have nice things said about yourself. I don’t mean to sound conceded but it is true that a compliment makes your day. So I was pretty pumped. The only thing is that once I got my letter and gift and it was a very, short and sweet message. Somewhat generic, nothing really personal, but I thought it was nice, a spelling error in the 30 words, but I still thought it was sweet. That was until I saw what my friends got… It was like a 1 1/2 of a page, full of personal comments and recognition of what they had done for them and the program.
I always try to advocate positivity and to not compare, yet there are always those situations that hit you at the moment, and this was one of those moments. To be honest I felt pretty upset, more so out of self-pity, but still, it happened nonetheless.
This was the down of the party. I wanted to leave. I started to overthink (something plagued by a lot of people) and I just wanted to go home. I debated leaving but decided to stay a bit longer. I then got my letters from my classmates. A good handful and that made me feel better, to only starting to read my first message, it was so sweet, until I realized that this letter was not addressed to me and that I was given to me by accident.
Oops, I guess.
Either way, I kept reading the messages, and though some were sweet, most of them were very generic. I kept reading through them, and progressively, they got better and better. I then reached a message with no name of who it belonged to and I almost started to cry. (I later found out who wrote it, it was a nice hug.)
Still, as the night went on, I felt like I was really just getting, not much out of the dinner and the dance started and again I contemplated going home. I am not a party/dancy person and I was sitting at my table alone, looking through my letters. It was not until one of my good friends, who was a year younger than I was decided to write each other letters personally, and she wrote me a beautiful and wonderful letter. I was overwhelmed with love and compassion and that’s when something clicked.
That night I learned that, yes I may not be the most popular. Yes, I am not the most academically inclined. I am not, the best in my art. I am not loved by everyone, but that the few people that do love me, they really do love me.
Being a kind of person who sometimes is a bit of a weirdo, I normally get very strange looks from my classmates and I got to use to it because my dear friends treasured my inner soul. I find it almost as an amazing epiphany the other day because, I realized that yes, I have a small group of friends, and I’m not known by everyone, but it is these people you need to treasure.
I learned that yes, letters are wonderful, compliments are great, but if they’re not given to you by people you care about, they aren’t worth much.
I learned that you may not be loved by everyone but you are treasured by the few weird birds that you have come to call your friends. (And yes, real people, not the actual pigeon, but I have many pigeon friends as well :P)
So in conclusion, don’t go looking for approval from a group of people that don’t know you, because they might like you which is great, but if they don’t, then that’s a real confidence buster. But if you just talk to your friends, people you care about, their love and compassion, even if it’s less in numbers, is more powerful than a million’s strangers telling you you’re beautiful.