Filters

Mentalillness

Filters are now the average normal. Anything else can be considered as… weird.

We all hopefully know what kind of filters I’m talking about, right? That’s ok if you don’t but just to clear any confusion up I’m not talking about the paper or metal filters that you find in a coffee machine or a tea strainer, I mean the mental filter.

We all have one. It’s kind of been trained into us. It could be as simple as not telling a person that they are a ‘bleepin’ dumbo because they came to school with their shirt on backwards or can be to the point of not telling your boss off when they are getting mad at you for no real apparent reason. (Or reasons that you didn’t commit or wasn’t even aware of). Either way, it’s that little filter in the mind that basically tells you to say one thing and hold back another.

Everyone to some degree has a filter, some less than others, and vice versa. Most of the time you can tell who has more of a filter by just talking to the person. It can be quite obvious that what they think is what they immediately say. There’s not quite something wrong with this, but in reality, this kind of filter (ie not having one) can get you into boatloads of trouble.

The same can be true with having too much of a filter, which I think a lot of us really do, especially introverts. I was talking to a friend just the other day and he actually brought up this topic. Filters can be both useful and detrimental, in both positive and negative ways, and this is very true. As an outgoing introvert, personally I have two kinds of mainstream thoughts, the one that is basically uncomfortable silence verbal randomness, which has a looser filter while my other mainstream thinking process is so narrowly filtered that it can be rare to even let a drop of anything out.

I’ve found this so difficult, however, holding back the more important mainstream thoughts, for I am the type of person who will feel explosive and want to be understood if I don’t tell anyone. So I have started to slowly open the more tightly knit filter up allowing a bit more out.

Still, however it can be very difficult deciding what should or shouldn’t be filtered, I was once even told that in some cases it might be better for no one to know. But in my opinion there really needs to be a balance. If you’re too open, you are going to say a lot of things you are going to regret saying and if you don’t say any of your main thoughts you are going to feel very alone and misunderstood. This is where I currently am, but I’m trying to find a happy middle ground as well.

It really also depends on the people you are confiding to. Friends that have been flaky probably shouldn’t be the people you would chat to about your most condensed thoughts.

A judge of character can also help decide if you want to filter some things with them. Don’t get me wrong, filtering constantly is not good but telling everyone your deepest darkest thoughts may also not be the best thing for you as a person. Really I would recommend just starting ‘unfiltering’ with a close friend or two and see how that goes.

It can be very difficult to change habits and states of mind, and in most cases what you are currently doing has been working for you, and I’m not telling you to go rethink everything you’ve ever thought, but it never hurts to try to see if this may work for you. Again, in my opinion, a happy medium is ideal, for both sanity and support but in the end, it’s really up to how you want to live your life.

Stay real. Try life. Be yourself.

Sonja P. 🙂

Advertisements

MERAKI: The Real Me!

Hey everyone, Copper D.W. here!

today I just wanted to do a little introduction to myself. You see if you have previously read my contact page (which I now have changed) and bio it says my name is Copper D.W. and admittedly says that it’s an alias, because that’s what it is, an alias!

But I finally got tired of the work in-between of working under an alias. (who knew, am I right J.K. Rowling?) After getting banned from Facebook under my alias’ name (I know smart right?) and several other fun jazz, I decided that I might as well take credit for my work, spelling errors and all!

So this is me! : My name is Sonja P.

DSC_0479

Throwing away all veils, this is me, and this is who I am!

Welcome to the world of internet, and I hope you continue to read my blog posts and I’ll try really hard to not skip a week! 🙂

Awesome Sox!

Copper D.W. aka, Sonja P. 🙂

The Myers Briggs Personality Type

infj

Hey Everyone, Copper D.W. here!

So I’m introducing this new category, being ‘INFJ’, Carl Jung’s personality test! YAY!! 😀

If you are not already familiar with the Myers-Briggs Personality tests (or what they are formally called MBTI, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) it’s basically a test that you take that puts you in a category of 16 types, being a combination of 4 letters. I vs E (introversion vs extroversion), S vs N (sensing vs intuition), F vs T (feeling vs thinking) and J vs P (judging vs perceiving). The final ‘type’ that you get is a combination of these 4 letters that is a general summary of how you process information, make decisions etc. I attached a link to a free Myers-Briggs personality test (because the real one costs money).

In this new category, I am going to be focusing on the rarest Myers-Briggs personality being the INFJ, which I am the most knowledgeable about because I am one. Sadly I will only have a category for the INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type and not any of the other 15, because I don’t feel like I know enough about the other types to provide insight on it.

In these kinds of posts in this category, I am assuming that you already have some basic understanding of what the stereotypical information on INFJ’s and this category is really just here to add my own personal insights of these kinds of INFJ problems. (So this isn’t the website to learn more about INFJ’s but more so a reflection of the type of fellow INFJ’s that need to know that they are not alone)

If you want to find some really great information on your Myers-Briggs type then there are a lot of great sites (linked below) that you can get a lot of information of these different types. (just to note, I am not affiliated with any of these companies, or websites).

I hope you enjoy my new INFJ Category, and I hope to see you back for more, juicy personal tidbits of INFJ Problems, and thoughts!

 

Awesome Sox!!

Sincerely,

Copper D.W.

 

 

Real MBTI Test:

  1. http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/

Personality Quizzes Free:

  1. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
  2. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
  3. http://www.truity.com/test/type-finder-research-edition

 

INFJ Information:

  1. http://www.truity.com/personality-type/infj
  2. https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality
  3. http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/infj
  4. http://personalityjunkie.com/the-infj/
  5. http://introvertspring.com/the-worlds-rarest-personality-infj-type-decoded/

5 Tips on How to Deal when all Your GuyFriends have Dates when you’re a Girl

ccca6__1318

Hey Everyone, Copper D.W. here,

I’d first like to say before I begin that I am so sorry that I haven’t been keeping up the blog for the past 18 days, I’ve been so crazy busy, but I’m back baby!! 😀

I will probably be writing only twice a week, though, sorry bout that, but I don’t think I’d be able to keep up the every other day posts, but now you know. 🙂

Ok, so today’s post I’m going to talk about me and my friends in the “romance department.” I have three good guy friends, and we always chat, (ok maybe not always but often enough) and we have really great conversations, but I have found an interesting trend. All of them have girlfriends or are in some kind of romantic mindset, and I’m just like, “Hey… people…” So today I’m just going to try to give you some tips on how to deal with all this lovey dove talk.

Ok so first of all, I am assuming that you are or have been really close friends with your guy friends it is safe to assume that they will talk to you about how amazing they are in Love.

Tip #1. Do not kill their joy/love.

Let them talk about how happy they are because chances are you have been friends with him when he wasn’t in the best place, so just listen and be happy for them. I once read a nice quote and it said something like; Don’t blow out someone else’s candle, in hopes that your light will shine brighter. This is particularly true in this case. You may not be all hunky dory in Love, but if they are, then let them. Don’t tell them to stop having these emotions because you just aren’t feeling it.

Tip #2. Try Listening, and Giving advice when asked.

I know it can be hard because if you have been a good friend to your best guy friend, if you guys have known each other and are super comfortable as friends, then you probably has asked I’m for guy advice and him, vice versa. Remember that time when he gave you that honest, but totally unnecessary advice? Well, this is kind of the same thing. If he wants advice, give him some advice if your comfortable (of course you can decide if you want to or not, you call the shots of your own life). I know it can be hard to listen to him when it seems he just calls you up to talk about his girlfriend, but odds are they don’t have a lot of girl best friends that they feel open enough to talk about this with, so take it as a compliment and try not to go stir crazy.

Tip #3. If it’s getting too much, politely ask for a break or a change in the conversation.

I know that sometimes when you have a guy friend that has his first real romance, or really likes the girl if they are the kind to talk, they talk… about it … a lot. I know it can be hard to listen to them when that is all they talk about or is the majority of what they talk about (like I said I have 3 guy friends who just love to tell me how much they are in love, some more than others). I know at least personally, you want the best for them, but sometimes you just need a break from others romance and take a breather, especially when you are not experiencing the same kinds of emotions. Still be polite about it, and let them know you just need a break and that it’s not that you don’t want them to talk to you.

Tip #4. Don’t go crazy. Just don’t do it.

I know when everyone else seems to be on the cruise ship to romance paradise, you start to go a little stir crazy, and wonder like “what the heck, what about me?”. But my advice for you is to try not to let it bother you. I personally believe that everything comes to you at specific times and that sometimes things happen all at once or for lengths of time or nothing at all. You have to learn to be patient, and to take whatever comes with you with as much of an open mind as you can, because who knows, maybe when you get your boyfriend the tables will be turned (in which it most likely will). Thus concluding to

Tip #5. Stay positive and move forwards.

Everything comes, everything goes. Like the crashing waves on the sandy beaches, they arrive with great power, only to be pulled back by the ocean. Think of life as the waters of the world. Sometimes you can ride that wave, but sometimes you just need to watch while other surf their own, and you can do it, I know you can.

Just takes patience and an open heart and mind.

Good luck!

Sincerely,

Copper D.W.