I have a problem. With words. Saying things, with words.
As you probably do not know but now will, I am an INFJ. That stands for Introverted, iNtuition, Feeling and Judging and is considered the rarest type out of the 16 Myers Briggs type, being 1% of the entire population. (You can take the free Myers Briggs personality test by following the link attached at the end of the post). I am dedicating a variety of posts to fellow INFJ’s (found in category INFJ) but can just be as easily relatable to viewers who consider themselves as introverts, outgoing introverts, perfectionists, people with a hard time confiding in people and the list goes on. If your not an INFJ, please still feel welcome in reading the INFJ posts, they’re meant for everyone who is willing to read them.
Ok, so back to words. I have a problem with saying words, and I think this is true with a lot of people. At least for me, I could have played a conversation over and over in my head and when it was time to say it, I would say some thing stupid, awkward and at most times completely unrelated. Is that just me? Possibly. But I do know a lot of people have difficulty expressing themselves verbally.
I am very ‘gifted’ with a pen/keyboard (I put ‘gifted’ in brackets because I’m not actually gifted, but I like to consider myself as a good writer) and I can express everything in ways that could seem not possible to come out of my mouth. I write better than I speak. By a landslide. I can write the most insightful things to my friends on Facebook, give advice that could only really be considered as an old aged lady giving life experience advice though email and can create wonderful stories about fantasy with amazing adventures. But when I speak it’s kind of like: “Hey… you. That was fun, the thing, we did yesterday. Wait we didn’t do that yesterday? Was it the day before? Oh. I guess it could have been a dream…”
This is what I assume is true for a lot of people (well maybe not the dream part…). It is normally the quietest people who have the most creative minds, or can write with such intensity that it can leave you in tears after reading one of their written passages, but speak terribly, with not verbal literature at all. But this is ‘normally’. People who can be seen as loud-mouthed, verbal diarrhea and just filler spacers can also write just as beautifully. (I actually follow in this category. I’m an outgoing introvert… more on this later).
I find in the society we live in, it can be normally seen as the loudest will be the leader, land the most jobs and in general just do better. But why? To be quite honest I don’t have an exact answer for that, only speculations, still though I think a large part of this is confidence. A lot of loud mouths have confidence, more so then we do. That’s why they seem to get what they want, their confident, and people look up to confident people. It definitely doesn’t necessarily mean that they are more qualified for the job then you are, but they carry that confidence that we may lack.
Still I know it’s hard. Especially when you are just trying to have a normal conversation and are trying to express yourself in ways that only seem to be possible through pen and paper, when you are obviously just making a fool out of yourself, or am trying to make connections with other people who have no idea what your talking about. So I guess you could just from now on only communicate through emails, texts and short (or long) novels, but sad to say that is not the world we live in. We can try to practice speaking to people and it will only get better with time, but during that wait period, acceptance is key. Yes you may not be as verbally literate as your fellow friends or acquaintances. But you just have to remember that words, saying words can improve, and well writing words can only get better.
Be creative. Be you. Be Unique.