Drop of Water

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Spiritual: An Intro

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Hey, Everyone!

This new category is called ‘Spiritual’, where I’ll be basically talking about my own views, thoughts, and opinions on spirituality. In this category, I’ll be talking about things like, intuition, empathy, energy, etc. so for the people that are into that, then Yay! 🙂

If this is not what you really want to read, then that’s totally awesome too! And to make things easier you, whenever I will post about this kind of stuff, these topics will not leak into my other blog posts. So if you still want to read my blog, but want to stay away from these topics, I can assure you that everything in spirituality will stay in spirituality. Still however, the way the website format I’m using works, the most recent blog post will always be at the top, and I can’t really change that, so if this bothers you, I recommend just going straight to the category you want to on the side of the page, or scroll past it.

I really want MERAKIWRITING BLOG to be an all inclusive, open minded, free space to read and not be judged, so though I am well aware that I cannot please everyone, I’d just like to remind everyone that I am doing my very best to keep this kind of community up.

Sincerely,

Sonja P. (a.k.a. Copper D.W.)

 

 

Autumn, Constant Change

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My favorite season is Autumn, where the natural world sheds what is no longer needed, and prepared to be blanketed in the soft comforter of snow.” ~Sonja P.now

It is now officially Fall, and it is very difficult to describe how uplifting the change in season is. I’ve been excited for my cozy sweaters, warm tea, and beautiful weather that arrives with my favorite season, Autumn.

Before I really get into my post for today, I’d like to apologize for some of the more so, sad elements of my writings lately. I’d like to inform you that the majority of what I write is not what is currently written for the coming day, rather I find works done previously, and mix and mingle with current writings. I also normally post and schedule for the post to be published a couple weeks in advance, so it is pretty safe to say, whatever I post is no longer ‘current’, or only have licks of life from a now dying memory.

Ahh, it’s finally Fall! I am so ecstatic of this time of year! Though I do admit I am not a huge celebrator of Halloween, I still love the mood Autumn in itself brings, being it a sense of mystery, change, and evolution. As I wrote in the opening topic, I find that Autumn, for at least for me, is as if the entire world is sighing and getting ready to fall asleep and to reset in preparation for a new year. So with this in mind, I find that in turn, it only seems natural to feel the shift in our own lives as well and not just in the change of the seasons.

Autumn, for me, is about change, shedding the old and preparing for the new. And this theme can be seen in a variety of things in life. With the falling coloured leaves and the sometimes aggressive honks of our national bird, here in Canada, you can tell that here in the natural world, all the animals and wildlife are getting ready and preparing for the coming winter.

So, “Season of Change” you may be wondering, “that’s nice, but how is that really relevant?” Well, it is and it isn’t. You see, you dictate your own life, and most people seem to just trudge on in their own lives and fail to see the beauty and opportunities that nature or life in general, has in store for them. These would be the people that would see that this post would not be relevant, still, the people that would find this topic interesting would have a different take. I suppose this could be as the glass half empty, half full kind of thing, but I personally don’t like thinking that one person is always as pessimist and another person is always an optimist, realist etc. We all are a little of each. What I’m trying to get at is, like the change of the seasons, we as humans are in constant change and we always are. You see, people, as creatures of habit normally identify a person, place or a thing as well it’s intuitive counterpart. For example, most people consider an electric guitar as punk rock, exciting, loud and full of spontaneity. That’s its counterpart, its label, you may call. Like seasons, we identify, Winter as cold, and sometimes even bitter, and Summer as happy, and free, however, these are only one (or multiple depending on the persons) definitions that we attach to certain elements of common life. However, as people, are not either one or the other. Most of the time we are everything in between, and even neither one nor the other. We are people, complex individuals that are not one thing or another. And though it can appear to the outside world that you fit a certain category, or label, as humans we are in constant change. Constant evolution, from where we are now, where we were in the past and where we will end up. You see, as humans we constantly in Autumn, we are in constant change, we are in constant movement. Like Newton’s first Law an object in motion stays in motion. There is no slowing down, there is no turning back the clock, we move and only move forward, and like time, and the natural life we exist in, we will always move forward, no matter how much we want to turn around and have a do over. We can’t turn back the time, we can’t and we shouldn’t want to live in the past, we should live for the future, and live in the present, because no one person ever moved forward by living in the past, and no one person ever moved forward when they didn’t live in the ever constant change of their own personal autumn, and move along with the seasons of change.

Sincerely,

Sonja P. (a.k.a. Copper D.W.)

My Mind; Fear

“My Mind; Fear” By Sonja P. (a.k.a. Copper D.W.)

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I’m sacred.

I swear I am terrified.

You know what I mean right?

I just can’t control myself sometimes.

I’m terrified that I’m going to wake up one morning that I won’t be able to control anything!

Nothing!

I won’t be able to control my emotion, my words, my thoughts and my intuitiveness.

 

I’m afraid.

I’m afraid that one day I will wake up and finally decide to be myself.

Finally to expose my bare skin and bones to the world, to my loved ones and I’ll be seen as a joke.

They’d just look at me if I’m insane.

They’d bring me to another 12 years of therapy and I could go on and on about this is what I always wanted ever since I was a kid and they’d just look at me.

“I live in my head too much.”

They’ll say “An overactive imagination.”

Then I’ll go on and on about always hearing voices before I go to bed, of seeing shadows and auras around people, of knowing things with no understanding why, of seeing images flash before my eyes when I’m looking for something, of really every weird and freaky experience that I’ve had ever and I have come to accept this as a gift, not an illness.

“You’re only 17,” they’ll tell me “you don’t know what you want. You don’t know enough about anything yet.”

And then I’ll feel alone.

Really alone.

I already feel alone when I pretend that I’m normal when I am most definitely not.

If I already feel alone when they don’t know, just imagine what I would feel like when I show them the real me.

I’ve been on those psychic websites, found some really nice people, asked for readings for help in whatever way they could, but because I was a minor and it was against the law their hands were tied.

I’ve spent all my life wondering what the hell was wrong with me?

Been on meds ever since I was 4 and still am on them.

I’m insane I’d tell myself.

No one believes me and even if they do, they’d either prescribe more medication, send me to a new therapist or they have nothing to say to try to help me.

Where’s my psychic guru who has all the answers for me?

You always see those tv psychics saying that they had a mentor at a young age.

I have always been able to help others but no one has really been able to help me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m made to understand and not to be understood.

But when I tell them.

If I ever tell them.

If it ever slips.

Something I should have only thought becomes spoken, what will I do?

I’m afraid.

I am afraid of the unknown.

The unknown of my own reality.