Hey Everyone, Sonja P. here!
I was going through my old notes on my computer and I found this old Love Note I wrote a little over a year ago. The situation at the end involving this person didn’t work out for the best for me, but I thought this was a very sweet note that I wrote while’s ago and I thought it would be a nice refreshing positive writing, in times of seemingly daunting times. I hope you enjoy!
Sonja P. (a.k.a. Copper D.W.)
‘An Old Love Note’; By Sonja P.
When days are bleak and I am left alone with only my thoughts I think of you. I spend my sleepless nights dreaming about you, and imagining what you would call ‘fan-fictions’ of what I wish life could be. Who I wish I could be. But as time passes I become too well aware that, I think of you as something else as a friend. More than a friend really and this is and will always be a fantasy. I’m not quite sure what to say because, well I don’t know quite how I feel. I’ve liked you more and more so as time passes and my first thoughts of possibilities begun last March. You are my good friend and I love you for that. Thank you for being my friend. I love how I can feel like I can just empty my heart to you, and I feel free of judgment. I’ve written many letters in your name, and every time I imagine ‘what if you laid your eyes on this on the letter that I have wrote’ yet never have they set foot outside my locked book of private thoughts. I really like you, and I know you think of me as only a friend, but I don’t. I’m not asking you out or really anything like that. I just want you to know. For you have a right to know. I like you. I like you a lot. And as you read this letter, I really think I’m going to send this one, for it’s Valentines Day tomorrow. I have not been fair to you lately, and I know I have a problem of pushing people away, but… I’m trying. You make me smile. You make me feel understood and I can only hope I do the same. I know and I get that I may not be the girl with your eye and that’s ok. I just want you to know I want to tell you. There have been many, many times when I just wanted to blurt it out to you. To you and to the others, that I like you. I like you a lot and I wish you the best of luck, on your forever journey in life. I want to tell you so badly in person, but I’m afraid. Afraid of ruining our friendships all of ours, and I cannot be liable for that. I am a stupid confused little girl who doesn’t even know what she wants, and I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t want to be stupid, but I can’t help feeling that way. So many thoughts are running through the molten lava that burns through my veins. It is my soul. I hate feeling so caged, my feelings locked in a box in time with only myself to pry it open and read bits here in there in the limelight. I have so many things I can tell you, so many things that I want to tell you, but this letter can’t go on forever. I just want to be happy and I want you to be happy. I can’t think of a more amazing guy than you, I’m smiling just thinking about you. I know this is stupid. unimaginable, dumb, idiotic and insane, but I am just a little of all of this. I like you, and you deserve to know.