Being Alone Together, an Ambivert Thing


“In the midst of all ongoings, all chaos, and all displeasures, to sit and read and to be alone, is much great fun together.” ~Sonja P.

It is interesting to see in today’s society how sound or noise, in particular, is needed on a societal level to feel comfortable.  For example, there is always that one or few people, extroverts normally, that don’t feel comfortable with silence or just surrounding ambient noise. There is a need or almost personal requirement to fill up this silence with either their music or their own voice. Sometimes the built up voice is a conversation of something important, meaningful even. However the majority of the time the words being expressed end up to be meaningless chatter.

As an ambivert (an introvert and an extrovert) as well as an INFJ it has come to my attention that people, the majority of them, feel uncomfortable by silence. Still, there are many introverts and ambiverts alike that like their quiet, resting space and alone time. Alone time, not filled with needless chatter, but again not necessarily alone.

I understand that the idea of being alone while not actually being alone appears to be a tad contradictive, however, it is nonetheless true. I am aware that the majority of introverts enjoy their time alone, solely by themselves, and this time by themselves for longer periods of time is not lonely but in fact rejuvenating. As an ambivert, however, though I do enjoy my personal space, and being physically alone, I can only do so for a shorter period of time, in comparison to a full-on introvert.

I have found that the majority of ambiverts, seem to get similar uplifting effects of being solely alone as introverts but cannot be in isolation for as long as the common introvert. What ambiverts seem to prefer is to be alone together.

I understand that this may not yet be clear, so let me explain. Being ‘alone together’ is actually exactly what it sounds like. It involves, generally no more than two people sitting or being in a room together, minding their own business, maybe both reading or on their own electronic devices, thus not interacting with one another, in a quiet room, with no one talking, sitting side by side, together.

It seems like quite an odd thing to feel so comfortable doing but, as ambiverts, this is the ideal way to relax and unwind. (Keep in mind that both people need to be mentally and physically at peace, with no strong emotion, because the majority of introverts and ambiverts are empaths [more on this in another post]).

This idea of being alone together appears contradictive in societal nature, where it has become the norm to fill in every quiet space with some kind of sound or noise. Still, however, many of us thrive on quiet, and it is quite enjoyable and exhilarating in one’s own silence. Depending on your own personal nature, however, introverts and ambiverts alike,  you may prefer being solely alone or to be alone together, and both is completely acceptable and should not be thought of as a personal disadvantage.

Both introverts and ambiverts alike are both needed in this crazy extrovert driven world, and it’s okay if you need your alone time, or together alone time. The human mind, the social expectations, nothing has ever been crystal clear to us at any given moment in time or space. It is okay to enjoy an activity that seems contradictive in nature, and it is okay to enjoy your quiet and space. Just accept it as who you are, and remember that introversion is not a weakness, it is a sign of strength because look at how many days you’ve survived this crazy extrovert world, that’s 100% so far, so keep it up.

Stay amazing, Stay beautiful, Stay introverted, the world needs you.


Sonja P.



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