I Love You Too

“I Love You Too” by Sonja P.

“Inadmissible?”

“Inadmissible?” Kelly repeated again.

 

It was a chilly spring evening, the sun was setting and Kelly had just returned home from a walk with her dog Lily.

 

“Given the given application and portfolio we regret to inform you that you are inadmissible to the Arts program at our University.” Kelly choked back tears. How could she have had just been denied entry into her most desired school?

 

It was beautiful outside. The setting sun made picture perfect moments. Kelly and Lily watched the sun start to fade as the swallow swooped and fluttered through the sky. Aerial dancing for the two.

 

Now in full tears, Kelly read and reread the email. She had been having a rough week, and now this?

 

“Inadmissible?”

 

Lily lifted one ear and turned her head completely forgetting about the wonderful walk they were just on.

 

“Why am I inadmissible?”

 

Kelly was crying now looking at her phone, fully taking in what exactly happened.

 

“Why are you sad Kelly?” Lily asked.

“Why are you wet on your face again?”

 

Lily barked and woofed, and now Kelly didn’t know why her dog was so upset with her too. She put down her phone and put her face in her hands crying more evidently.

 

“Why are you sad Kelly?” Lily asked a few more times.

Lily soon realized that Kelly was hiding from her.

“Why are you hiding Kelly?”

“Kelly?”

 

Kelly just kept crying, she had just been denied entry from her most wanted University because of the given application and portfolio.

 

“Kelly?”

Lily put her paw on Kelly’s knee, pushing herself off and up into Kelly’s arms kissing the salty water on her face.

“Kelly?”

 

Now holding Lily, Kelly cried into Lily’s half muddied fur, hugging her tightly.

 

After crying for a solid 20 min, Kelly started to loosen her grip on her. With Lily looking up at Kelly and licking her face until it was a watery smile.

 

“I love you Lily.” Kelly said, squeezing her again as she finally stopped crying.

 

“Don’t worry Kelly. I love you too.”

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My Theory of; We die at 25 but Buried at 75

“We are told that the world hardens us, but in reality, the world only tires us.” ~Sonja Peters

Hi Everyone,

Just out of curiosity, have you ever been told that the world hardens us, makes us cold, or really any kind of that? I know that in my personal life I have heard these phrases in addition to hearing comments such as ‘the average person dies at 25 but only gets buried at 75’ by Benjamin Franklin and similar sayings. This leads me to the question of what hardens a person to the point where they die really before their death?

I’m still fairly young so I cannot speak from a long-lived elder’s point of view, but from almost two decades on this planet, I think it is safe to say that I have formulated my own opinions as well as, ideas on certain aspects, beliefs, and systems, this idea in particular.

If we look at the human lifespan, the average life expectancy is about 75 and this number has been slowly rising thanks to the medical care and health advances. Nonetheless, if we look at the stages of life we have, in the following order of title then time span of that life stage it is; infant (0-2), toddler (2-4), child (5-9), adolescent (10-13), teenager (13-19), young adult (18-24), adult (25-65), and senior (65+). Now if we look at the time each human stage (Reminder that some time frames overlap and this is just a generalization) we can see that our entire childhood or growth into adulthood takes about 25 years, give or take a couple of years. That’s 25 entire years of your life, out of supposedly 75 years, when 35 years you are supposed to be adulting, then retirement of 15 years. So if the saying is that most people ‘die’ at 25 then what is exactly happening?

So if the saying is that most people ‘die’ at 25 then what is exactly happening?

This is my theory:

We don’t die. We just get more tired.

Okay, you may be thinking that being ‘tired’ and to ‘die’ at age 25 basically mean the same thing, and you’re right, they basically mean the same thing. If you know me or have been following my blog for a while, you’ll remember that I am a spectrum kind of gal. So technically they are the same, but they are also not.

Let me explain.

Approximately during the 0-9 stages, being an infant, toddler and child life is pretty much, more or less fun, (more so in the earlier years), where you are really just learning the building blocks about how to function as a human, both physically, mentally and emotionally. This is the stage where you just learn to be a functioning human, maybe you do some math in school but in the natural world, this period would be the time where you learn basic survival skills.

Ages 10-24 are the okay you’ve learned basic life skills, now we’re going to make you sexually viable and this is when the average person goes through puberty, identity recognition, fitting in, and navigating the social and political world that we have casually found ourselves in, or what I like to call, the quarter life crisis. The basic goal at this stage is by the time you’re done you can be an independent human who can survive on their own in the wild and then natural selection does its thing. Then afterward you would ‘survive’, reproduce and then pass on at the ripe old age of about 35, (if you make it that long)

Seriously. This is what was supposed to happen.

But wait! I see a flaw in this plan! How long do we actually live? Well, we now live until about 75. That’s 40 more years than what mother nature has originally intended. But guess what!? The basic spawning period stays the same! So it still takes about 25 years to be ready to actually adult, but instead of 10 years to family it up, we are given 40 extra years!

So long story short, with these extra years, we are forced to prepare for an additional 40 years of life which must include schooling, career advances and the biggest of them all; money, or the economic system. So in these basic 25 years to get ready for basic life survival we now have to add all this additional learning, knowledge, decisions, and most importantly stress and anxiety that was, though there before, has increased in levels when in reality during that time you were supposed to learn the basic life skills and prepare for reproduction and survival. Thus by the time you are 25, you don’t technically feel like you have ‘died’ because when you are 25, there is always still a little hope, still a little wonder and happiness, but there is also, now a lot of stress, anxiety, and fatigue, for you have worked harder in those 25 years than nature really intended. So you are not dead, you are just tired. But don’t worry

So you are not dead, you are just tired. But don’t worry, sometimes you just need some cold hose water in the face and you’ll wake up, and by this I mean; that you can always get some rest when you are tired. Sleep relax, have fun and enjoy life, because if your adult years seemed expanded over time, why can’t your kid years too?

“Life is what you make it, so let’s make it right.”

Sincerely,

Sonja P.

p.s. and yes. I did just quote High School Musical. You’re welcome.

In Loving Memory

There is a reason why both birds and angels have wings.

Hello Everyone,

Today’s post will be dedicated to my passed budgie parrot, Moby and everything he had shown me about love, happiness, and grief.

It has come to my recent attention that not all good things last forever. Though I have always been aware of this saying and moral of speech it has never quite hit home like it has until several days ago.

Everyone has had a beloved pet at some moment or place in time, either that being the neighborhood cat or your own dog, horse or fellow exotic. We, as human beings have an innate desire to be and feel loved and to have that love returned unconditionally, something that our animal companions seem to excel at in these kinds of positions. It is quite baffling from a pet owners mind when another speaks of animals lack of compassion and lack of intelligence. I suppose some animals have mightier brain power than others, there is no doubt that all animals love unconditionally, and feel that love and joy of any human that has ever lived.

So as we watch our pets go, as we lose them to the spiritual world, it creates a sense of grief and turmoil in the survivor’s mentality. This can be seen most definitely in people as well as in animals, where some species that mate for life actually die months if not weeks later out of what can only be seen as grief and loss.

Looking at the human perspective loss is a natural process. Life and death come naturally in this world and it always seems that as one door closes another door opens, however, this never eases the soul of the missing and lost loved one. Specifically, if you feel that you could have done more, loved more, lived more, but until the moment you realize it is their time to go it is too late.

Grief is not a fun emotion however, it is necessary for the ongoing process of living and continuing with life. Loss is in no doubt extremely difficult and can take months if not years for the soul to feel ready to move on.

It has come to my attention that my beloved pet has passed, and though I had given him a good life, I always wonder what I could have done for him if I was more attentive, spent more time with him and so forth. Nonetheless, he had a good life and that is what is the most important. Your beloved pet would want you to be happy, and not want to be sad in every waking memory of all the times you did share. For your pet did love you, and you, though you sometimes would not admit loved your pet dearly and love will forever be with you, and they will always be with you. Whether you decide to hold onto a keepsake in their loving memories or to simply remember the pictures and memories, they are all acceptable and reasonable ways to mourn a loved one’s death.

So in loving memory of Moby P., I’d like to say you have always been loved, you have been my sunshine on the stormy days and that you will never be forgotten.

Lots of love,

Sonja P.

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The Right and the Wrong

by: Sonja P.

In a time of turmoil and distress, there is a fight.

A fight between beast and man, dragon and knight,

A fight between right and wrong, and good and evil.

Or so it seems to be.

 

Both fight, knowing that one must die for the other to live.

In a fight to the death, both opponents challenge the other using unique skills themselves, and only themselves have mastered.

Both bringing their own weaponry to the battle, a battle of fire and steel, flesh and claw, the maiden watches from afar.

 

She is not in need of rescue for she is neither trapped by beast nor man.

She is niether trapped by walls of stone, a flood or water, nor the physical constraints of the mortal world.

The only chains that bind her are the chains of the mind: expectation, limiting beliefs, and self doubt.

 

As she watches from a distance she ponders the moral of right and wrong,

The difference between right and wrong, good and evil.

She knows there is a fight to the death before her eyes, yet she has difficulty seeing the hero.

Both brave and valient in their efforts, both fighting to be ‘saviour,’

Still as she looks at both opponents,

Both beast and man,

Both dark and light shines through them.

There is both dark and light shining through of them.

For to her utter reliazation, both belived right in their own eyes,

And yet, both were wrong in one anothers.

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Missing the Bandwagon: Better Late than Never

 

“Better late than never.” – Mathew Hanry

Hello everyone!

So I’m not sure if you noticed or not but I haven’t posted since a month ago… so yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been busy working on a novel (4 part series) and I guess I just lost track of time. I’ll try to post whenever I can from now on because I have come to realize that I’m not super great at keeping and adhering to a schedule. But as Mr. Hanry once said/wrote: “Better late than never,” and this is the topic of today’s post!

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I have never EVER been able to keep up with the trends and fads of social society. I’m more or less in my little bubble surfing Pinterest or inventing things that are too expensive to actually build or writing and singing my little heart away. So I miss a lot of things. Like everything really.

I’ve always been this kind of person. I’m not sure if this is an introvert thing, but I never really know what’s trending online or really going on in society unless one of my friends tell me or show me online or something of those sorts.

For example, I have just recently read the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. I have literally just watched all the movies withing the last 2 months and read all the books within the last month. I am serious. I have never laid my finger on the Harry Potter book series, with the exception of using the Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix as a makeshift brick to throw at my elementary school bully. I know I lacked the respect of the great J.K. Rowling and her precious book babies, but that was the biggest thing I could physically find on the recess ground. (Thank goodness my friend was reading the soft cover though.) I loved J.K.’s books so much, to the point of wondering why I didn’t get on the bandwagon when it first was popular over 10 years ago!

Some of the other late trends that I missed up are popular music and songs that come out only to find out almost 2 years later that the song was popular and was a big hit. I can’t remember what the song was called nor how it goes, (so that is also probably a reason why I missed that pony ride) but I remember playing it on repeat and telling my sister that it was such a good song, and that she needed to hear it. She just looked at me and said that the song was almost 2 years old and trended over a year ago.

This kind of late realization of trends has always been something that I have lacked in both social trends and general life skills. This goes for literally anything, from fashion to music to youtube and the list can go on. I’d like to think that I purposely ignore trends to rebel against the general condolence of society, (this is what happened with the Harry Potter series, which I now regret deeply) but most of the time it’s mostly me just being completely oblivious to what happens outside my bubble and morals that I carry with me.

Just out of curiosity, can any of you relate to this issue, or is this mostly just a me problem? If this ever happened to you I would love if you could share in comments, let the better late than never Bandwagon people unite!

Life is too short,

Try to catch that wagon every now and then.

Why did I miss Harry Potter?

Why?

Sincerely,

Sonja P.

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When Life Changes, it’s Not Over

“Life seems to have its own path that sometimes it appears you have to follow, but this is not always true. Sometimes you need to divert from the path to start your own down the untrimmed grass, to truly find yourself.” ~Sonja P.

Hello Everyone,

I apologize for not writing for the past couple of weeks, but life has taken me on the rollercoaster that it is. Due to several life complications, I have returned home from my out of town University and am going to continue my education here, in my hometown. It’s quite difficult to take, for me on a personal level

It’s quite difficult to take, for me on a personal level for the school I went to was perfect for me in every way. The program was amazing, the professors were immaculate and my friends, well they were spectacular. I even had a crush that I was hoping to eventually ask out. Nevertheless, life had its own ideas, and due to health issues, I had to return home.

Now it has been over two weeks since I have left that university and things have been going alright. My health, of course, hasn’t been super reliable however I am with my family,  I’m at home and I still have the option of two universities that have good programs in the area.

I realize that not everyone would do what I did, and I understand that what I did may not be approved by every family or household, but what I’d like to say is that I made a huge decision. I did what was best for my health. I can home. And guess what? My life isn’t over.

After some distance from the entire matter, I have come to realize that everything, though difficult will be okay. Dropping out of school for health reasons isn’t a death sentence. In a matter of fact, dropping out of school for whatever reason isn’t a death sentence. In the world we live it is expected for us to get some kind of degree, diploma or certification, but the reality is not everyone is set to do this. Sometimes change takes its way and then well you just need to move forward. I plan to go back to university this coming September, but it’s okay, and totally amazing if you decide to leave school and go into the workforce, or get an apprenticeship or really anything because it’s okay. It’s your life and you need to decide how you want to live it

I plan to go back to university this coming September, but it’s okay, and totally amazing if you decide to leave school and go into the workforce, or get an apprenticeship or really anything because it’s okay. It’s your life and you need to decide how you want to live it. You could live by others, or societal values or you could march to the beat of your own drums, or do a little of both!

The reality is, is that I knew that my health would get worse if I stayed, so I had to come home. And though it seems very simple in just that one sentence, the pressure to do everything right, to prove yourself, to make yourself feel more accepted and the list can go on, can sometimes, and quite frequently cloud your judgment of what you want or more in particularly what you need.

Life is a rollercoaster, and I can say that from experience, but remember with every down there is an up and with every up there is a knowing of a change.

Change is okay.

Health should be looked after.

It’s not the end of the world.

Sincerely,

Sonja P.